We were told they would be transferring my MIL at 11:30 this morning, so Ali and I went over after breakfast to visit. MIL loves to have Ali read to her from her Bible, so Ali brought it with her. MIL was quite confused today... Thank God for onion rings!
Yesterday evening, when FIL was going back to see her, I suggested he take her some onion rings. She is a very picky eater and wasn't liking much of the hospital food. He stopped by our local Perkins and the waiter piled a truckload into a box for him. (In our small town, Perkins' employees are like family to us.) When Ali and I arrived, MIL told us all about how FIL had met her in Vicco last night and they had onion rings. Vicco is a town in Kentucky near where she grew up. She was really mad at him for not showing up for their wedding later, but at least he took her out for onion rings!
Ali was a little anxious over MIL's weird rantings, but I explained to her about strong medicine and how it can affect the mind. MIL keeps thinking that FIL is coming home on leave from the Army (He was in the Navy.) and they are going to get married. She told me that when she went home last night, he didn't show up! She was very upset with him for leaving her. I assured her that she was still in the hospital and that he had been there every day.
The facility she is going to is one where another family member had been. She remembered it and said it was very nice. I explained to her that her back was broken but that the hospital couldn't keep her there. She seemed OK with the idea, but then in the next sentence, she would be angry with him for deserting her at the alter...
How do you give comfort to someone that can't remember from one sentence to the next? If she can't remember she's in a hospital with a broken back, how can she remember that he has been there to visit her every day?
Hubby and FIL went on to Fairborn to help her settle in... It will be a long day.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
A Ray of Sunshine
Sometimes people comment to me that they don't know how I do it... I've got a lot on my plate, it's true. But my life is overflowing with blessings. Just when a big bump in the road comes along, there's always a little extra sunshine streaking down on me to balance things out.
My daughter and her family, and my step-son and his wife came over for burgers and dogs tonight. Just what the doctor ordered...
Monday, July 6, 2009
The Old Mares
Sitting here to cool down, my mind wanders... My thoughts drift back and forth from my old mare in the pasture to my MIL. I see the parallel in their lives and yet there is an amazing contrast. (You can find the story of my old mare on my blahwg! blog.)
My thoroughbred is very old in horsey years. She is still very active and a great trail horse. She is trim and fit and has energy to boot! All indications are that she will be that rare horse out on the trails in her late 30's. That is comparable to the seniors you hear about on the news: 116 years old and bowled a perfect game!
I watched my mare trot out into the front pasture, her legs moving gracefully with full motion. There was no sign of stiffness. Her stride is as elegant as it was in her youth.
My MIL however, is not in great shape for her years. She is only 78. Rheumatoid arthritis and the accompanying medications have robbed her of ability to lead a normal life. The joints in her body that have not already been replaced have deteriorated to the point where their function is greatly limited. Her legs no longer support her. Her knees buckle in toward one another. It took great effort for her to pivot from her hospital bed to her lift chair. Now she cannot even do that.
My mare is enjoying her golden years. She is able to keep up with my other horses and has already bonded with them. They move together as a herd. I worried that they may take advantage of her age. I wonder what life in a few years will be for her. Caring for an aging horse can be a job. She already has special dietary needs, especially during the winter. There will come a time when she is not expected to do anything other than graze. Trail rides will be a distant memory. Her retirement home is a lush pasture with loyal friends. That is where she will spend her remaining years, months or days...
Today might be the day that MIL moves into a nursing home. We're waiting on Medicaid approval. She is not happy about it. Her mind is not what it once was, so she feels that we don't want to be bothered with her and are glad she is going. We love her and want her to be safe and have proper care. But I worry... Will the staff treat her well? Will they make sure she gets the proper nourishment? Will she be lonely, or will she make friends that will spend time with her?
Maggie is quite content in her field of horsey dreams. Someday MIL will run through a pasture too...
My thoroughbred is very old in horsey years. She is still very active and a great trail horse. She is trim and fit and has energy to boot! All indications are that she will be that rare horse out on the trails in her late 30's. That is comparable to the seniors you hear about on the news: 116 years old and bowled a perfect game!
I watched my mare trot out into the front pasture, her legs moving gracefully with full motion. There was no sign of stiffness. Her stride is as elegant as it was in her youth.
My MIL however, is not in great shape for her years. She is only 78. Rheumatoid arthritis and the accompanying medications have robbed her of ability to lead a normal life. The joints in her body that have not already been replaced have deteriorated to the point where their function is greatly limited. Her legs no longer support her. Her knees buckle in toward one another. It took great effort for her to pivot from her hospital bed to her lift chair. Now she cannot even do that.
My mare is enjoying her golden years. She is able to keep up with my other horses and has already bonded with them. They move together as a herd. I worried that they may take advantage of her age. I wonder what life in a few years will be for her. Caring for an aging horse can be a job. She already has special dietary needs, especially during the winter. There will come a time when she is not expected to do anything other than graze. Trail rides will be a distant memory. Her retirement home is a lush pasture with loyal friends. That is where she will spend her remaining years, months or days...
Today might be the day that MIL moves into a nursing home. We're waiting on Medicaid approval. She is not happy about it. Her mind is not what it once was, so she feels that we don't want to be bothered with her and are glad she is going. We love her and want her to be safe and have proper care. But I worry... Will the staff treat her well? Will they make sure she gets the proper nourishment? Will she be lonely, or will she make friends that will spend time with her?
Maggie is quite content in her field of horsey dreams. Someday MIL will run through a pasture too...
Golden Years My Ass!
If you've followed this blog, you know things have been pretty tough for my mother and father-in-law. It hasn't gotten easier...
She's had a lot of bruises lately from plopping down to hard in her chair or on the bed. Her legs just don't support her anymore and she's too heavy for us to hold up. A while back, she almost fell but my FIL pushed her toward the bed and she landed on the mattress. Still, with her brittle bones, a bed could cause damage. She had been complaining about her back hurting since she twisted it in bed one night. It appeared to be muscle spasms.
Early last week, when no one was in the room, she tried to get up on her own and fell... again. We called the non-emergency number for the ambulance crew to come pick her up and get her back in bed. She insisted she was not hurt. But, after a couple of days, her back was giving her so much pain, we took her to the ER to have it checked. That was Thursday. They didn't see anything on the X-rays, but decided to keep her for observation. Over the holiday weekend, MRI's revealed she has a cracked vertebra. She is not a candidate for surgery of any kind!
My FIL was worried. He asked Hubby, "How are we going to get her back in bed? We can't handle her like this..." He began to see that the time had come... the thing he dreaded most in all the world.
Hubby's sister and brother came over tonight to discuss the situation. The hospital will release her tomorrow. She cannot stand. She cannot sit. Is she coming home? No one wanted to say the words. The brother's wife handles their medical stuff (POA) because it's her profession. She stated that she was not going to make the decision for them. She asked them what they wanted to do. She asked them over and over. FIL and his kids mumbled about how we just can't take care of her this way. They agreed it was no longer safe for her here. Everyone agreed about everything, but still... no one would say the words.
If it isn't sad enough to have a family gather together for this conversation, the remaining conversation should never have to take place...
Tomorrow, SIL will be in touch with the nursing facility and the hospital advocate trying to get MIL prequalified for Medicaid. The general feeling is that she should qualify. We won't know though until tomorrow. If she doesn't qualify, she will come home, broken vertebra and all, and we will do our best to take care of her. I pray to God that we can.
She's had a lot of bruises lately from plopping down to hard in her chair or on the bed. Her legs just don't support her anymore and she's too heavy for us to hold up. A while back, she almost fell but my FIL pushed her toward the bed and she landed on the mattress. Still, with her brittle bones, a bed could cause damage. She had been complaining about her back hurting since she twisted it in bed one night. It appeared to be muscle spasms.
Early last week, when no one was in the room, she tried to get up on her own and fell... again. We called the non-emergency number for the ambulance crew to come pick her up and get her back in bed. She insisted she was not hurt. But, after a couple of days, her back was giving her so much pain, we took her to the ER to have it checked. That was Thursday. They didn't see anything on the X-rays, but decided to keep her for observation. Over the holiday weekend, MRI's revealed she has a cracked vertebra. She is not a candidate for surgery of any kind!
My FIL was worried. He asked Hubby, "How are we going to get her back in bed? We can't handle her like this..." He began to see that the time had come... the thing he dreaded most in all the world.
Hubby's sister and brother came over tonight to discuss the situation. The hospital will release her tomorrow. She cannot stand. She cannot sit. Is she coming home? No one wanted to say the words. The brother's wife handles their medical stuff (POA) because it's her profession. She stated that she was not going to make the decision for them. She asked them what they wanted to do. She asked them over and over. FIL and his kids mumbled about how we just can't take care of her this way. They agreed it was no longer safe for her here. Everyone agreed about everything, but still... no one would say the words.
If it isn't sad enough to have a family gather together for this conversation, the remaining conversation should never have to take place...
Tomorrow, SIL will be in touch with the nursing facility and the hospital advocate trying to get MIL prequalified for Medicaid. The general feeling is that she should qualify. We won't know though until tomorrow. If she doesn't qualify, she will come home, broken vertebra and all, and we will do our best to take care of her. I pray to God that we can.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Horses Making Friends
It's been three years since Maggie has seen Nekoda. I don't know if horses remember each other or not. Buddy had not yet arrived at our farm when Maggie left; We still had crazy Misty! Maggie seemed to remember me and this farm. She's been very lovable, wanting lots of rubs and kisses. She knew right where her old favorite patch of grass was! The stalls are across the aisle from where they were and the run-in shelter is farther from the back of the barn; but it all seemed to be familiar to her.
Horses establish a pecking order within their herd. Any additions to the herd can rearrange the whole line-up. The bottom horse can quickly become 2nd in command with a different leader! I had a feeling Buddy would have to give up a little rank...
It's important to introduce them slowly. You don't just open the gate and shove the new one in. They can be violent and hurt each other. And since Maggie is a senior citizen in horse years, I wanted to make sure that she didn't get injured by the younger ones. Since we got home late last night, Maggie didn't get to meet her pasture mates until today. Maggie spent the night inside Buddy's stall. Our horses only go inside to eat or if there is ice or some other weather that threatens their well-being. So Maggie had the barn to herself. (If Maggie had been boarded at a large facility or around lots of other horses, she would have been quarantined for a while before she got around the other two.)
While I was at church, Hubby moved Maggie to the round pen so she could roam around and eat grass. When I got home I opened the stalls and brought the young ones in. With Nekoda and Buddy safely locked in their stalls, I brought Maggie in on a lead. It went very well. Horses will sniff each other's breath... (Much nicer than the doggie version of greetings.) Maggie and Nekoda stayed nostril-to-nostril at the bars for a while, inhaling deeply. There was no stomping or kicking. After a bit she moved on over to Buddy's stall door. There were a couple of loud neighs & squeals, but nothing really aggressive. Neither attempted to nip between the bars. (Sorry there's no video, but working a camera at a time like this is a bad idea.)
After they satisfied themselves with exhaled horsey air, I turned Maggie out to the back pasture. She headed for that sweet spot and was out of sight of the barn door. I then took Buddy out of the paddock to the round pen. I figure I'd let him meet her later...
I put a line on Nekoda and led her to the opening to the pasture where Maggie was grazing. They both raised their heads up and eyed each other. Nekoda is not the least aggressive and I wasn't really worried about the two mares being turned loose together. I walked her part way down the pasture, then, with a quick warning to behave, turned her loose. She took off for Maggie. They sniffed each other's breath again and dropped their heads to graze. I exhaled. One down, one to go...
I left the girls in the pasture for awhile to bond. Buddy was happily munching on the overgrown grass in the center of the round pen. (It's not had a lot of use while I've been sick, so it looks more like a pasture than a work-out ring.) Occasionally, Nekoda would run back to the barn gate to yell over to Buddy. They don't like being separated! But then she would return to the grassy end with Maggie.
After a while I decided it was time to introduce Maggie and Buddy. I brought Nekoda back into her stall. She protested loudly! With Maggie at the other end of the pasture, I walked Buddy toward her. Buddy is pretty laid-back, but I wasn't about to take him up to Maggie on a lead. That could be dangerous. I would be just close enough to split them up if needed. Buddy was very attentive to Maggie, but seemed pretty calm as we got closer. I finally reached the end of my comfort zone and removed Buddy's halter. He trotted over to her and they sniffed... He smelled her neck... She squealed at him... He backed off... They started grazing! Wow, that was easy! I watched them closely for awhile. They stuck together, but respected each other's area.
Horses establish a pecking order within their herd. Any additions to the herd can rearrange the whole line-up. The bottom horse can quickly become 2nd in command with a different leader! I had a feeling Buddy would have to give up a little rank...
It's important to introduce them slowly. You don't just open the gate and shove the new one in. They can be violent and hurt each other. And since Maggie is a senior citizen in horse years, I wanted to make sure that she didn't get injured by the younger ones. Since we got home late last night, Maggie didn't get to meet her pasture mates until today. Maggie spent the night inside Buddy's stall. Our horses only go inside to eat or if there is ice or some other weather that threatens their well-being. So Maggie had the barn to herself. (If Maggie had been boarded at a large facility or around lots of other horses, she would have been quarantined for a while before she got around the other two.)
While I was at church, Hubby moved Maggie to the round pen so she could roam around and eat grass. When I got home I opened the stalls and brought the young ones in. With Nekoda and Buddy safely locked in their stalls, I brought Maggie in on a lead. It went very well. Horses will sniff each other's breath... (Much nicer than the doggie version of greetings.) Maggie and Nekoda stayed nostril-to-nostril at the bars for a while, inhaling deeply. There was no stomping or kicking. After a bit she moved on over to Buddy's stall door. There were a couple of loud neighs & squeals, but nothing really aggressive. Neither attempted to nip between the bars. (Sorry there's no video, but working a camera at a time like this is a bad idea.)
After they satisfied themselves with exhaled horsey air, I turned Maggie out to the back pasture. She headed for that sweet spot and was out of sight of the barn door. I then took Buddy out of the paddock to the round pen. I figure I'd let him meet her later...
I put a line on Nekoda and led her to the opening to the pasture where Maggie was grazing. They both raised their heads up and eyed each other. Nekoda is not the least aggressive and I wasn't really worried about the two mares being turned loose together. I walked her part way down the pasture, then, with a quick warning to behave, turned her loose. She took off for Maggie. They sniffed each other's breath again and dropped their heads to graze. I exhaled. One down, one to go...
I left the girls in the pasture for awhile to bond. Buddy was happily munching on the overgrown grass in the center of the round pen. (It's not had a lot of use while I've been sick, so it looks more like a pasture than a work-out ring.) Occasionally, Nekoda would run back to the barn gate to yell over to Buddy. They don't like being separated! But then she would return to the grassy end with Maggie.
After a while I decided it was time to introduce Maggie and Buddy. I brought Nekoda back into her stall. She protested loudly! With Maggie at the other end of the pasture, I walked Buddy toward her. Buddy is pretty laid-back, but I wasn't about to take him up to Maggie on a lead. That could be dangerous. I would be just close enough to split them up if needed. Buddy was very attentive to Maggie, but seemed pretty calm as we got closer. I finally reached the end of my comfort zone and removed Buddy's halter. He trotted over to her and they sniffed... He smelled her neck... She squealed at him... He backed off... They started grazing! Wow, that was easy! I watched them closely for awhile. They stuck together, but respected each other's area.
By now, Nekoda had had just about enough of being shut in the stall. I opened the door and let her out. She took off for the grassy end of the pasture and I went for my camera.
And again, things are as they should be...
And again, things are as they should be... Saturday, July 4, 2009
As it should be...
Hubby was too tired from putting up hay yesterday to make the trip... So I told him I would just go by myself... So here we are, driving up together to bring Maggie Mae home.
She was the proverbial sight for sore eyes! You have no idea how much I missed this girl! She looked even more beautiful than I remembered...
Hubby was as anxious to see her as I was. I can't believe how much everyone was cheering for me to have her back! In all the little towns we went through, people were lining up on the sidewalks and waving! They gathered around grills and ball fields, and any vacant lot in town. The police were out in some areas directing us through. They even set off fireworks the whole route home! I wish our country could show that kind of solidarity on other matters...
Thank you everyone for making my special day even more special.
July 4th, 2009 11:00pm
Tucked in and ready for bed.
Goodnight my beloved Maggie Mae...
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