My thoughts on death & cemeteries...

Being Memorial Day, a lot of posts have had a bit of cemetery talk. While commenting to Lover of Life about her post (lifeinthesecondhalf.blogspot.com/2009/05/i-hate-memorial-day.html) I felt the sudden urge to blog about my desires for when the inevitable happens...

Every day I get in the car, I risk losing my life on the road. Not that I am paranoid about it, just a fact. Anywhere you drive these days, you're likely to see those little crosses and fake flowers marking another loss of life along the highways. I told my husband that should I die in a car accident and he puts one of those things up for me, I will come back to haunt him! Please, don't take offense if you've done that for a loved one. This is only my personal feeling about me and my loved ones. Should Hubby meet that end, I will NOT put up the little cross with fake flowers. I do not want to be remembered for how I died, but for how I lived! I don't want him to think of where I died, but where I lived! I'd rather him be reminded of me by looking out to the gardens and the animals. I hope he leaves the feminine touch in the master bath to remember how I loved it. I hope he reads the notes I scribbled in the margins of my Bible, and the numerous blogs I have posted all over cyberspace. That is me. I am not a corpse along the roadway.


Now, on to cemeteries... I obligingly take my mom to my Gramma's grave a couple of times a year. I don't really feel much about it because I know Gramma isn't there. She is with her Lord in heaven! I know Mom gets something out of this visit, so I take her. I'm glad she's not reading this... When she is gone, I will not be spending time at her grave site. I will have pictures and memories.


Hubby and I have decided to donate our bodies to the university's medical school. When they are done, Hubby's cremated remains will be spread here on his beloved farm. I told him to flush me, throw me in the creek, whatever... I just want to end up in the water.


If my daughter wants to do something special on Memorial Day, have her spend an hour relating stories of some good times with me to friends and family.


As far as the Veterans are concerned, I am as grateful as anyone for the service they gave. It is stirring to drive past a Veterans' Cemetery and observe the tidy rows of miniature flags. Thank you to all those that volunteer to carry on this tradition. It is an honor to them, but I think an even greater honor is a public service where living Vets can tell their tale, the ones who gave their all can be recognized, and just generally show everyone of them the respect and thanks they so well deserve. Take your children to these events and educate them on the price of our Freedom.


P.S. I had to come back to edit this post. While commenting on yet another Memorial Day posting, it suddenly dawned on me... What people get from the ritual of visiting the graves... I had just read Joan's post at 50somethingwoman.blogspot.com/ She spoke of the bonding, family values kinds of things. Blame it on my upbringing I suppose. Those things were never nurtured in me. That makes me sad. I must be missing out on something really special...

Grace in the Garden

Since I'm still 'under the weather' (I wonder where that expression came from) I don't have any new news to blog about, so here's a farm-fresh oldie but goodie...

Gotta love that Gracie (Grand #3).

She was trying to be a farm girl and bring in

a bucket of corn and green beans for dinner.

She is quite the drama queen!

WWII Veteran

This weekend, as we come together with family and friends for cookouts, graduation parties and camping trips, let us set aside a bit of time to reflect on those who gave their lives so that we might have the freedom to do those very things...

I am proud to introduce to you my father-in-law J.C. He served in the Navy during WWII. Luckier than a lot of the men he served with, he not only lived to return home but also lived long enough to witness the memorial built in honor of those who fought in that "war to end all wars".

He is now 85 and his dream was to see the WWII Memorial before he died, though he wondered if he would. In July of 2007, Hubby's brother took him to tour Washington, D.C.

This is a military family. Hubby joined the army after high school, as did his son Tim. His brother Richard (shown below with J.C.) served in Vietnam and retired from the military. Richard's son Shawn is also career army, a member of special forces, a black hawk and fixed-wing pilot. It was a very emotional trip for all three generations. Richard found names on The Wall of friends that he had thought had made it home. Yes, they made it 'home'. J.C. had a tough time. There is a reflection pond with a star for every lost man. With tears in his eyes he said, "I'm sorry you boys didn't make it home." We consider them men, but in reality a lot of these soldiers that have made the ultimate sacrifice were still being raised by mom and dad when they went to serve. For many, it was the first night away from home. For too many, they would never again fall asleep in their own room.

In the last couple of years, there has been a lot of talk about the dying WWII vets. Their numbers are shrinking daily, with not many of them left. I had seen several news reports about different groups of veterans making the journey to D.C. to witness the Memorial. I thought J.C.s story might be an interesting read. He was raised in a coal mining camp and also served in the CCCs before the army. Without telling him, I sent an e-mail about him and his D.C. trip to the local newspaper. I got a reply saying they wanted to interview him.

This photo of J.C. the reporter and the photographer was taken in August of 2007.

Here the photographer has J.C. and Jackie posed in front of some old photographs and Army papers.

The story appeared on the front page of our Xenia Gazette and also on the Fairborn daily paper. Fairborn was their hometown before coming to live with us. Hubby's sister and brother both live there. We kept it a surprise, and boy were they ever surprised! I framed the article and it hangs in their bedroom. It's something that J.C. is very proud to show off. It's a shame that all veterans don't get that kind of recognition

.

Here's a fun picture of J.C. 'in the day' with a few buddies having some brewskies:

Thank you veterans!

pool time

I am praying that my health will improve very soon. I hate being stuck in the house, but since I am I've been browsing through some old family photos and video clips. Watching the short films of the various family pool parties, I am anxious to get finished with the landscaping project and open the pool! For those who don't know, we installed an outdoor boiler system last fall and the plumbing for it went straight through the landscaped walkway to the pool.

This is not a top-quality video, but I think it summarizes my idea of a wonderful summer day. Whenever I get tired of cleaning and maintaining the pool, I watch a clip like this and I am reminded of why I love it so.

In this clip, Hubby takes his traditional place at the grill, with my son-in-law nearby. Grand #2 is driving Uncle Tim (my step-son) crazy making him flip her in the pool. Towels and pool toys are strewn everywhere. I'm probably ready to put the camera away and yell at the kids to drip-dry for dinner... Worth every penny!

A Real Winner!

Congrats to Dani a.k.a. Grand #1!

Today she became an 'official' member of the Thespian Club.

She has been performing since she was a baby. She sings for her church, and school. Last year she starred in Guys and Dolls. She won two awards tonight for her performances in two one-act plays put on by the drama department. One for best supporting actress and one for best female minor role. She felt very honored because these awards are voted on by the students! Someday at the Oscars...
"I would like to thank Nana for always being my biggest fan."

This Morning

It started out just plain terrible! I am NOT a morning person. I don't mean I'm grumpy in the morning... I mean I am asleep in the morning, by choice. I do not like getting up much before the crack of ten. Especially after a night like last night. This bronchitis/asthma is getting the best of me. I woke up at 3am in a hacking fit that would not stop. The breathing treatments help, but then I'm jittery for hours. Anyway, back on track...

This particular morning I am summoned to the conscious world by Hubby. He simply states, "We have a problem in the bathroom."

Did I mention that I am not a plumber, never have aspired to being one? Why is he waking me? Is the toilet clogged? Did a pipe break? No. That would be a plumber's job and I am not a plumber. I am however Hubby's resident mess-cleaner-upper.

I'll interrupt this story briefly to let you in on a tip: Never, never, never under any circumstances let your lab wolf down left-over corn from dinner. Even if she is overweight and the vet says let her munch on veggies. DON'T DO IT!

Now back to the story...

It seems that sometime between "Goodnight, I love you, too" and "We have a problem in the bathroom" our lab Sadie had an accident. Well, several actually. Fortunately, it was in the bathroom and not on the bedroom floor!

All I could do was look at Hubby and say, "and I'm out of Frappucinos!" He replied, "I'll run to Speedway and get you some."

So here I am, on my knees hacking, trying to get enough air into my lungs while assuring that multiple trees will die because of my indiscriminate use of paper towels. If you will remember, all this is taking place at a time during which I should be having my REM period.

You're probably thinking this day is starting off on the crappy side - no pun intended...

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Luckily, I do not have Hubby's weak stomach. Cleaning up after people or animals doesn't phase me much, unless of course it's in the middle of my night.

When the only trace of the 'plumbing' problem was a lingering aroma, Hubby returned with a nice cold coffee Frappucino and said, "I owe you." Oh yeah, you owe me big time! So I decided to put him to work.

I had Hubby fetch me some mulch for a quick job outside - remember, I still can't breathe. I'm feeling sorry for myself because I really want to get some things done, but the Dogwood trees are running me back inside. I wish I could open the windows and listen to the sounds of nature, but that would give those nasal terrorists access to my sinus cavities. So I did what I do best...

Settling my laptop in front of me, I went online to check my mail and read the blogs I follow. I made a quick trip over to Facebook. I have a friend on there that I've never met, but I know her in-laws. I worked with Harry for several years. His son and daughter-in-law have recently adopted a young boy from Africa. I knew the daughter-in-law wrote a blog but didn't know where. I checked her Facebook page and there was the link. (I will not post the name of her blog here until I have her permission.) I was anxious to read their adoption story...

I spent the next chunk of MY horrible day reading her honest and open thoughts concerning this tough journey that her and her family have taken. She speaks frankly about her conflicting feelings, and shares the way her day starts out every day...

A favorite saying of mine popped into my head... "I once felt sad that I had no shoes, until I met the man that had no feet."

I am not letting Sadie have any corn tonight. But even if I did, tomorrow morning will still be wonderful. Thank you Lord Jesus for making me see.